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These poems were written
for me by the most dear person in my life, my partner in all things.
Blood seeping from my wound
the acid of my life
draining my sorrows
The puddle grows
staining the bright
wishes of child-like dreams
I surmise the simplicity
to be a curse of time
for I may not know
and yet I must
The dreams are now burnt
and blackened by
the well wishers' epithets
I alone remain
as a beacon to my
painful life
The others have gone
having used and discarded
my shattered shell
I chase a shadow
of who I once was
without reward or relief.
This
Raven child
thrills me and fills
me with images of light
The child touches me
and warms me from afar
Dare I speak the feeling
that those words have stirred
I am offered healing
yet I resist, my pain is
so known to me
Shall I surrender this
companion to the child
in the darkness
What power does she
seek from me
what price must be paid
Wanting is often more
fearsome than having
Do I want this pain
to comfort me
Shall I share the darkest
wounds with her
I am drawn from my
hiding place
The
blood of this wound
now soaking me
now dry again
festering, infected
aching loneliness
the darkness, cold
what lies beyond
Will
the Raven consume me
in my misery
Will the Raven burn away
my sight
I can but imagine the risk
If you would know me then you must drink from a full cup.
You must know that I am the dichotomy of life, the very paradox of
living.
I offer the cold comfort of darkness and the joys of sunlight.
I dwell in the recesses of mind and heart, I seek action in form and
substance.
I live in terminal ecstacy and bask in joyous agony.
I bring a storm of pleasures and the utter peace of anguish.
If you seek me diligently and in earnest, you will find me . . .
Huddled in the comfort of your soul, fearing you.
As you approach me you shall see me as a child but I am an ancient
soul.
You would have me in simple terms yet I compound and confuse the
chase.
I would have have you, deeply mine still I pursue you only as a
triviality.
What fears can I inspire in you, what affections can I shun ?
I stand my ground, waiting even as I flee from what you may mean
to me . . .
Join me in my solitude, my misery, leave behind your compassion,
your sympathy.
I will not accept your pity of me, I rip it from you as a thief.
Trembling in strength, raging in weakness, I lash out at you with a
kiss.
The gates of humanity are closed to me, I hold the blueprint of life.
Among men I have no equal, you shall occupy my pedestal.
My arrogance is a shield against you yet I fear nothing that you
may bring against me.
I hunger for your touch in the darkness, I despise you
Your essence penetrates my dark heart,
your unspoken, undying committment cuts,
my soul is bared to your soft caresses,
I see the death of my tormented spirit,
in the light of your smile.
My soul
recoils from you Sweet Child,
the need for you is great, but so too
this fear and loathing of the light,
my bonds are cast aside in haste,
will I linger in this pain at leisure.
Your
lips carry promises I cannot utter,
your giving heart is bright as my darkness
yielding to the cold within me,
reaching for me you must know
I am terrified of your tender mercy.
My heart
is rended nearly apart,
your breathe in the darkness is inscense
to a miserable soul, long suffering,
terror grips my mind and I drift with it,
call my name and I shall surely perish.
We,
I cannot conceive of other than that,
I cannot exist in this realm alone,
you will not be at peace til
I scream in aching pleasure,
you drinking from the cup of my life.
You come to me in a casual calm like a child wanting to snuggle
You caress my soul with your words softly and soothing
My anger rages against what must be true
My contempt for your gentle heart is raw, frenzied
I know your heart, I taste your soul, I feed on your fears
I stand in the shadows and weep at your need
For of the two your hunger exceeds mine
Your need feeds my dark nature
The darkness hates my howl
As your heart opens to me
I roar the battle cry for the moon to hear
I challenge the stars to weep
I dare the sun to burn me at twilight
The heavens open to my sight
I am blinded by your presence
Your voice carries my death
Those subtle words decay my mind
The tear in the darkness is my demise
You have plotted and waited for my death
I lay at your feet hating you
Unable to flee your need
I am trapped
Still you pour out your acid and poison
Into my deepest wounds
You give me cause to bleed
You free me to feed
Everywhere I turn you are there
Every drop of my blood bears your name
Each sweet tinge of pain is yours
I die in you and am reborn
I am reborn in you only to die
You have known me from the beginning
You have called out to me in the night
You have sought me diligently
Why then do you question my touch?
Why then does the darkness scare you?
If this, Why then have you summoned me?
We shall rewrite your world in mine
And you shall know bliss and I
shall know death.
Harbouring fears,
waiting in the darkness,
hungering for your touch,
dying in the silence,
searching for truth,
finding no answers,
feeling alone,
hating my weakness,
desiring your strength,
dwelling in silence,
serving no purpose,
thinking of history,
cheating my fate,
relishing solitude,
scanning the future,
walking in peace,
laughing at folly,
crying in vain,
passing on caring,
sharing myself.
~Bill
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